this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
