The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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