The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize