Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
