Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize