Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize