Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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