You're so nebulous sometimes
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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