Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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