I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
this is an emotional support booty call
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
