First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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