if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
