I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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