i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
