worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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