dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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