I want to have your abortion
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
