Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
