Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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