Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
