Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
