exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
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drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize