You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
