How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
