Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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