I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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