IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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