the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
