let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize