Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
