By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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