And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
