I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
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