how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
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It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
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He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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