I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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