you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
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