I feel great
I just peed on a car
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
