I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
