The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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