..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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