I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Can I color on your dick again?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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