So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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