I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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