I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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