So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize