im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Randomize
