And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
