The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
