Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
