So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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