I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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