like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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