I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If I die, sorry about rent.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
