I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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