I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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