i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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