Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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