Since when is my name a synonym for head?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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