Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
And then he peed in my hair
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