you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
