Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
