I wanna passion pit in your ass
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
