im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
