I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
