sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
